Friday, June 08, 2007

Spam Haiku

Just for fun:

1. Bluish can of steel
What promise do you hold?
Salty flesh so ripe

2. Can of metal, slick
Soft center, so cool, moistening
I yearn for your salt

3. Twist, pull the sharp lid
Jerks and cuts me deeply but
Spam, aah, my poultice

4. Silent former pig
One communal awareness
Myriad pink bricks

5. Clad in metal, proud
No mere salt-curing for you
You are not bacon

6. And who dares mock Spam?
You? you? you are not worthy
Of one rich pink fleck

7. Like some spongy rock
A granite, my piece of Spam
Sunlight on my plate

8. Little slab of meat
In a wash of clear jelly
Now I heat the pan

9. Oh tin of pink meat
I ponder what you may be:
Snout or ear or feet?

10. In the cool morning
I fry up a slab of Spam
A dog barks next door

11. Pink tender morsel
Glistening with salty gel
What the heck is it?

12. Ears, snouts and innards
A homogeneous mass
Pass another slice

13. Old man seeks doctor
"I eat Spam daily", he says.
Angioplasty

14. Hardly natural
Tortured shape, elastic food
A small pink coffin

15. Pink beefy temptress
I can no longer remain
Vegetarian

3 comments:

Jon Nunley said...

HILARIOUS!!!

But don't you know that spam is mystery meat?

Steve Sensenig said...

This literally made me laugh out loud. Did you compose these yourself?! I'm so impressed.

Very hilarious, very well-written. I never knew Spam could be so classy as to have 15 stanzas of haiku composed about it.

Some of my favorite lines:

"angioplasty"
"what the heck is it?", and
"hardly natural"

Thanks for the laugh!
steve :)

sdCorinne said...

I found you through comments on Pyromaniacs. I came expecting to find great spiritual insight. I'm glad I wasn't let down. :-) I'm teasing of course. God bless you.